Watching as much "food TV" as I do, preparing "quality" meals isn't that hard. Plus, what with all the media interest about how people in the UK are catching up with the US, when it comes to being a bunch of fat bastards, it makes me wonder.

The other day, I had to accompany my parter, Clare, to the local branch of Tesco's, we got the stuff we were short of, and stood in the queue for the tills. While waiting, I glanced around and the people who were arranging payment for their shopping were both women (unsuprisingly). The thing that I did notice, was that they were both fucking huge. Real big fat fuckers!

Then I started watching the items that they were purchasing. I wasn't suprised that they were both such fat bastards, the amount of shit that the checkout person was scanning across the sensor had to be seen to be believed.

All prepackaged, fat/salt/sugar /additive laden rubbish. Even if they happened to have large families, there was enough calories to feed a small African nation!

Clare tried to justify their actions, with that "they probably don't have time" excuse. Well these days, that just doesn't work as far as I'm concerned. They'd probably have "more time" if they got of their fat fucking arses and stopped filling their brains with shit from the TV.

Ok, it does take a bit more time to make a proper meal, that it does to open a packet of shit and microwave it.

But why to the food manufacturers use so much salt/sugar/fat/whatever ? because when you "process" food, it becomes bland and hideous looking pap! So they add salt/sugar/fat/additives, to make it "taste nice", and to look better, oh and so that it has a longer shelf life (yes, ok, lets be real about it, to make more fucking money).

Unfortunately, it's the consumer that doesn't seem to realise that this kind of "food" is slowly but surely killing them.

Of course, it's the likes of the food manufacturer that have realised, that while the quality of their product, might be shit, it tastes good - so they are falling back on that old trick of nature, that if somethings pleasing to the taste, it's probably safe too eat, if it tastes bad then it's probably not safe.

We Brits, are so obsessed with out petty minded xenophobia, that we haven't worked out why other European nations are so fussy about what they buy for food. To start with, it seems that their societies are a lot less fucked up than the UK. Less obsessed with time, or the lack of. So it's taking the bastards that make the shit that a large proportion of the UK eat, longer to squeeze the same levels of profit out of them.

And no, I rant about this kind of thing all the time, but I'm not perfect. Some of the shit does really taste good and as a result, occassionally I crack and have to have a quick "fix" of something. Often it will be chocolate, sometimes it will be that real processed dogshit, a pot noodle. The very spicy ones are fucking lovely, but whenever I'm about to crack - especially with the pot noodle, I look at the price, and I remember that at about a £ a shot, it's cheaper to go to the little Chinese store in town, and buy their instant noodles instead. More varied flavours and about half the price. If I then still want the noodles tasting more hot/spicey I can always put some fresh chilli in.

So come on, you fat bastards, take the time to make "proper" meals, and leave the instant processed dogshit where it belongs, either on the supermarket shelves or in the rubbish bin.

Oh!, the older I get, the harder it is, to get off my soap box !

Bugger, caught out again! No, nothing that I've seen in the media recently has grabbed my attention enough to reproduce/comment on it here, but I've taken to watching a programme on the UKTVFOOD satelite channel, called "food uncut".

Food Uncut is quite an interesting concept, it's only half an hour long, but tries to cover a wide variety of subjects. Yesterday, they had an article about food blogs.

The annoying thing was, that they only seemed to focus on apparently well known food blogs. Well they might be well known to some people but not too me. Maybe thats my fault though, as I don't really get the time too sit at the computer and search for food blogs. Or food articles per se (hell, I'm writing this during the Sweden Vs England match at half time).

Ha! I mean, even the latest edition of the aforementioned programme is recorded on my "Sky" PVR device. It can take a day or two for me to see the recorded material.

The article on food blogs was a little like the programme. It's aimed at a curious demographic. I'm sometimes confused who it's directed toward, but it appears to be mainly a "middle class" thing - even though the take up of digital TV has a higher level amongst the "working classes" (apparently).

The programmes mainly static "anchor" presenters, seem to have a good understanding of their subject. Though I sometimes wonder what actually qualifies them to talk about the subject - except for the reasonably regular "guest" chef - Jean Cristophe Novelli (apologies if I spelled the name wrong) who is a reasonably well known (and michelin starred, I understand) TV chef.

The other two ? Stephan something or other, well I first saw him on the Channel 4 programme called "full on Food" (I think). Actually, thats where I saw Merrilees, who seemed to take over from Stephan there. They then turned up on food uncut.

I suspect that she is also an experienced chef, but I don't know as so far I haven't looked to see if she has her own website/biog'/whatever.

Perhaps it's just me being lazy. Or perhaps, because I'm not fazed by people with some sort of show biz' notoriety, that I don't give a fuck, but I suppose I'll have to look!

Apart from that, the programme is quite good, and reasonably informative - though some of the recipes are a little highbrow. Some ideas of what might make "normal" food a little more interesting would be good.

Not all of us have these "top" restraunts/delli's/fishmongers/etc etc just round the corner like the more affluent parts of London seem to have. So some of the ingredients are a bit hard to find.

Maybe it's just that I've missed the point of the programme. Hey! I'm not perfect. I just don't like the idea that we have to eat so much shit i.e. what the supermarkets would prefer to feed us because it looks pretty and comes in an appealing box (and the accompanying price tag).

I will also try to keep this updated more often though!

Pip Pip!

Haven't posted for a while, but was prompted too, because yesterday I looked in our food cupboard and found myself facing a tin of "Heinz Spaghetti Hoops" (spaghetti rings, I think, in the US).

It was the writing on the top of the label that made me think some. It said "check out my salt levels".

OK, fine. It has good salt levels. Maybe, I can't honestly say that I know exactly what the correct amount of salt (on a daily intake basis) is.

So I started looking around. Now the conclusion that I came to, is something I've sort of been aware of for ages anyway, but it seemed to be confirmed.

Most foods, particularly processed ones, have easily identifiable amounts of salt, sugar and fat, in varying combinations. OK, but as soon as "they" try to change something about that food, then "they" often have to up to quantity of one or both of the others to compensate.

Fats and salt aren't really that palatable on their own - Ok sugar is nice but you often find that it's bloody awful to eat on it's own. They are mainly used as flavour enhancers.

The problem seems to be that if you eat too many foods with too much of one of those three things in them, then theres possible health complications i.e. too much sugar is obvious, you end up as a fat fucker with bad teeth. Too much salt and you end up with arteries made of steel and rocketing blood pressure. Too much fat and you end up as a fat fucker but with clogged arteries.

Is there an answer ? Well I suppose the answer is "sort of".

Sort of what ? Well, sort of, eat a balanced diet, and maybe learn enough so that you've got some idea of how many calories a portion of X contains - yes, you will need to have some idea of just how much a portion is i.e. weight and/or size.

That way, you can enjoy something that is say, high fat but you only eat a very small amount. The same applies to fat and salt.

Part of the reason that people in the US have a reputation for being fat bastards, is that not only are they eating the wrong foods, but too fucking much of them as well. They seem to have embraced "convenience" like nowhere else. Of course, the UK is doing it's best too catch up, but fortunately such evidence from the US is going some way to providing us with a clue as to the results of poor diet.

Most food, when it's in it's natural state, already contains enough sugar/salt/fat's. They're present naturally. It's just that they're not as salty/sweet/savoury/whatever. So maybe, cook your veggies without any additional salt. Then taste them, and add just a little too taste. Fruit? well again, taste the fucking thing. If it's not sweet enough for you, just add a little extra sweetner (artificial or natural). Fats a difficult. It can often be hard to decide if something has got enough (breads easy enough, only put enough butter on it so that it's spread very thinly, if you must). Other things? well, if you follow recipes then stick to them. Then at least you can try to judge how much of something you eat is likely to contain.

Perhaps I'm lucky inasfaras my partner Clare and myself, eat a very balanced diet. She's very conscientious, whereas I tend to eat too much by way of quantity (the quality is there).

I don't want to stop you eating what you like, I just want to encourage you to think about which foods, and how much, you're actually putting in your mouth. And no, I don't accept any shit excuses, like, "but the kids won't eat anything else" etc etc. If you're the parents, then the fucking kid(s) eat whats put in front of them - don't give them the choice of pick and choose. They're kids afterall, they're learning to be adults. If you don't "train" them properly, then how are they going to know whats good and what crap. The food manufacturers certainly won't tell 'em. They just want to produce food that costs as little as possible to make, but commands the highest prices to buy. They're not in it for your benefit (unless you happen to own shares in that company), they're in it too make a profit.

All I really have to do to improve my health is to stop smoking and try to get in the habit of taking more exercise.

Ah yes. That magic word, exercise. Perhaps it's the one thing that people are not doing enough of, and no, you don't have to throw hundreds of pounds/dollars/euro at some posh gym membership - they aren't really very nice places to try to improve (unless you're some sort of image obsessed moron who needs to have others to compare yourself too). Normally, the only thing that gets lighter with smart gym memberships is your fucking wallet! The robbing bastards.

Jog, cycle, swim, walk, something. Theres enough advice from the medical world to guide you in an appropriate way to exercise more.

Oh well, I suppose that I'd better go and get on with my cycle ride!

pip pip!